Friday, 4 May 2012

The brief: Monday 30th April 2012

The brief: You are reaching your 60th birthday and are part way through your autobiography, write exactly 150 words about Monday the 30th April 2012.


  1. Last week someone told me that 60 is the new 50. Nonsense! 60 is the new 40. Whilst people wish their life away and cast glances backwards nostalgically the forward thinking press onwards and upwards. The freedom of finally paying off my 35 year mortgage has given me a firmer financial footing. So this weekend my 60th birthday party will be played out in Ibiza at a foam and bungee jumping party. David Guetta is jetting in from Paris and the music will go on long into the night. The stereotypical buffet of curly sandwiches and soggy sausage rolls has been replaced by a selection of quirky and tantalizing canapés representing the best of the five continents. Whilst some much has changed during my 60 years on earth my belief that big and better things are always around the corner hasn’t. The secret to longevity live life or die trying.

  2. As I approach my 60th birthday, I find myself pondering on the past. I’m thinking what has been the pinnacle highlight for me so far.
    My 30’s were all about finding the cure for cancer, my 40’s when I was clearing out the loft and found the original copy of the bible were thought to be highlights in my life.
    Of course for the record, making Holly Willoughby my wife has to be the moment that has made me the most happiest. That one moment came however when my mate Simon Cowell introduced me to Ant and Dec. This was the moment that struck me like lightening that I knew, what had been missing in my life. Adopting new parents wasn’t easy and it took me a while to convince Ant and Dec to take me under their wing. These 2 were however new age parents that had it all.

  3. ‘Just tell your story’ my publisher barks. ‘Inspire future generations’ he muses. The thing he doesn’t realise is that I’ve been inspiring future generations for longer than he’s been drawing breath. I have been working hard and inspiring others for 59 years and now I’m ready to retire. My book will be a tale of a man who climbed to the top of an ivory tower and found it’s fucking lonely up there. My book will be the tale of a man who inspired others but was only inspired himself by the advice of his family. My wife tells me I’m not getting any younger and I need to be fitter. My children tell me to keep fighting because I’m no quitter. My grandchildren tell me I must join Twitter. I tell them I’ve been on it since Monday 30th April. Twitter ain’t the only old bird who’s still singing.

    1. I love this one!! Not too keen on the extra competition though :)