My mum always told me I was lucky. Most people have no hidden talents, some have one but I got given two! I was blessed she said. I saw things differently.
Everything was fine until aged 10, I hit a growth spurt and my life became a living hell. In the right clothing, I looked like everyone else but there was no hiding place during P.E. lessons and I quickly discovered how cruel kids can be. I suppose it made me stronger and mercifully, as I got older, people bit their tongue more often than not but I knew what they were secretly thinking nonetheless.
My mum told me to embrace my condition so here I was, waiting backstage for a live filming of Embarrassing Bodies. I walk out to rapturous applause and cast off my shirt.
The crowd fall silent.
“MOOB BOY!!!!” shouts someone at the back.