If I’m hungry, or thirsty where do I go?
If I’ve missed the news or my favourite TV show?
If I want to splash out and treat myself to new clobber…
Or find out the latest on that mysterious robber….
When I’m bored, or I’m tired, excited or sad
If I just fancy a long chat with my dad
When I’m lost in the car, fancy a meal
Or I’m a little bit skint so could do with a deal
If I need a catch up with my good friend in Oz
Or I’ve forgotten to send that email to the boss!
When I dare to check what’s left in my bank,
Or I’m feeling fruity and fancy a………… banana! (what did you think I was gonna say?)
Well I pick up my phone, and give praise to the lord,
For I no longer need to communicate with the world!