The day is here, the time has come,
Posh dresses on, time for some fun
Big hats, champagne, giggling girls
I’ve even given my hair a curl
One little glitch, please don’t laugh
I’ve a little twitch, it’s making me faff
I look like a lady, feel like one too
But God, why do I always need the loo
The limo arrives, just one more wee
No time, says Shaz, just cross your knees
Oh dear, please no, its coming out!
Sit down, crossed legs, shit! I shout!
I know, it’s exciting, says Donna Marie
No, shit, I mean, I mean it LITERALLY!
Very funny, screams Kaz, wait, what’s that smell?
And that stain on ya dress? Oh chuffin’ ‘ell
So, my day at the races, was somewhat cut short
With poo on my frock, was best to abort
So my time as a lady is still to be sought!!!