A toothbrush, and toothpaste, your razor and shampoo
Tweezers, earbuds, not forgetting moisturiser too
There’s conditioner and soap, or showergel if ya posh
Your passport, and tickets, and if you’re lucky, some dosh!
Don’t forget your nightie, your knickers your bras and your socks
Your bikini, and your eye patch, your skirts and your frocks
Then there’s make up, and hairdyers of all different makes
Straighteners AND curlers? What’s that about for fucks sakes?
Lipstick, lip balm, lip salve and lip gloss
7 (minimum) magazines to catch all the goss
Nail varnish that’s pink, for big nights on the lash
Hair grips and bobbles, and cream for the ‘tache
Sun cream and sun hat, a lilo and ring
Shorts, T shirts and vests, and after sun for the sting
I’m sure that there’s something I’ve missed from this list
Oh yeah, I’m a bloke, and this list takes the piss!