“Get the **** out! What the hell are you doing here at this time, poking around in the middle of the night?”
“I’m just looking for some peanuts.”
“I….. ma’am, I’m so sorry….. didn’t realise, I thought…… peanuts. Yes, peanuts. I’ll get some.”
“No need. Sit down, young man. I’ve found them.”
“Ma’am if you’d rung, I would’ve brought them to you. You don’t need to come to the kitchens.”
“At my age I don’t sleep much. I like to explore at night. It’s quiet. No boring politicians to talk to. You can smell the dust on the pictures.
I have quite a game with the officers. I sneaked past three armed policemen to get here, isn’t that fun? Three policemen with guns that is. Not excess limbs. It’s a weak joke, you don’t need to laugh so much.
Now, is that a bottle of gin? Thank you, young man.”