Remember that time you got the runs? Or that time you farted and it cleared the whole dance floor?
Well, The Queen does that too…
She’s had the runs, let’s out sneaky trumps in her sleep and has been known to dribble and snore.
And when she’s had one too many sherries after being bored out of her head at yet another tedious, unfunny Royal Variety Performance – she gets a large big mac meal delivered with a chicken nugget chaser for the hangover. If it’s really bad she’ll get a double cheeseburger starter too.
And when she’s had the whole family over on Christmas day – after her speech, she likes to have a quick fag. No one knows. Not even Philip. This makes her smile.
And when Philip really pisses her off she tells him to eff off and starves him of any sexual activity for a week